The Rules Have Changed...

Apparently, the rules that were in place the last time I was starting a relationship have changed immensely.

I don't remember it being this difficult. In this age of slim, lightweight, mini computer communication devices, you would think getting in touch w/someone would be a breeze. Of course, I am assuming that said person WANTS to be "touched". What are "phone issues" anyway?

Bottomline here: I met a seemingly nice guy in the gym where I exercise 3 times/week. We hit it off from the first time he spoke to me in the pool. He's nice looking, my age, takes care of himself physically, dresses nice, looks good in a swimsuit (not a speedo), kind, considerate and respectful. What's not to like? I thought, "ok...what's wrong w/this dude? He's all of those things and he's not married nor, according to him, have a steady g/f." When I asked those questions of him, he said, "No, I'm not married and I don't have a steady g/f, I have "friends". Hmmm...ok...friends. Are these "friends" in the true sense of the word or "friends" like the young people have today? You know, "Hi, this is my friend, Johnny. We sleep together but we're really just friends." I didn't push it b/c we just met a few months ago and I don't want to come off as a nosey so & so.

Everyday for the last couple of weeks, this man has either texted me or called me. He's called me beautiful, told me I was funny and he likes funny, has "really wanted to see you tonite". We got together after missing each other for about a week a few days ago. Since that night, 2 texts and 1 call b/c of the aforementioned "phone issues".

Problem is; I like him. He's nice, he's friendly, he's absolutely gorgeous and I wish I could eat him w/a spoon..but I can't shake the feeling that something's just not on the mark w/him. Is it woman's intuition? Is it my imagination gone bad? Is it b/c he's not the wonderful, loving husband I used to have? Have I gotten so cynical that I can't believe folks anymore? Do I just not trust anyone anymore? Should I trust anyone? Is it b/c I've been out of the game forever and have no clue how to date anymore?

All I know is I'm not sure of anything when it comes to this newfound freedom that I have or regarding this beautiful, specimen of a man. His looks are doing nothing to help things either. How dare he look that good and make a play and then leave before I get a taste? Good Lawd!

The rules have changed. No one told me that they did. No one has explained the new rules nor do I understand them. I'm soft after having been sitting on the sidelines for so long. I don't want complicated. I want a simple, easy, "it is what it is" relationship. Spell it out for me. Don't put it in front of me to ogle and then snatch it away. How cruel.

Widow hood. I don't like it. Starting over again on the "dating field" is just a bit much.