Today my husband would've been 72y/o. How would he feel about that? I'm not sure. He was 25 years my senior but we had so much in common it was scary. Either I was older inside than I should've been or he was younger inside than he should've been. Either way, we worked.
I miss him so much. He wasn't much on celebrating birthdays. He just wanted me to say Happy Birthday and that would be all he'd want from me. It never seemed like it was enough. Now it seems like it's too much, too late. He never seemed that much older than me. I never saw him as that much older. I still don't think of him as being that much older than me.
How I wish he were still here. We lived, we laughed, we played, we cried, we loved, we gave life and we watched life taken away together. He had always been by my side for all of those things. So those things are difficult to get through now without him. I feel empty inside. Half of a person. To borrow a line from Jerry McGuire, he completed me.
So as I wish him a happy birthday, on this his 72nd, I want to close my eyes, blow out the candles and wish for all the things that we had together. That yesterday would come again and I could hold his hand and tell him how much I love him. That I could feel "normal" again....whole....complete.
Happy Birthday John. I miss you. I love you. I wish.......
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